Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
