Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize