I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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