so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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