so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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