You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I am available for nakedness
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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