3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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