who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize