my sisters under your porch take her home
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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