He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Randomize
