He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
