Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize
