all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
