What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
