If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
