I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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