shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Randomize
