also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
