So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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