Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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