you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
