I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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