im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
