he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
