This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
