I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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