You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Randomize
