I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
