No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
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