Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
