Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Randomize
