I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
