farters have to be the big spoon...
Who did Billy Mays play for?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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