he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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