You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
