You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
