He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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