why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
