just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
