I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Randomize
