the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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