I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
