Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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