I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
