You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
