Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
