If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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