I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
