i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
