I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
