I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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