I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Randomize
