Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
