Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
