no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Too much gin, very little bucket
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
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