Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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