we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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